Thursday, December 27, 2007

I swear my heart stopped beating

Or at least if sure felt that way. Then I woke up. I'm still thanking God it was just a bad dream. One that let me know exactly how my Mother In Law felt the day the police came to the door and told her that Chris had died.
It feels like a hole in your heart. I get ahead of myself though.
It was a dream nothing but a bad dream. Of a place I didn't recognize, but seemed familiar. It was home in the dream. For some reason there was a fire a few blocks away. No worry right? In this dream Bryce stayed home with the dog in the back yard. The backyard had 2 sheds in it. Don't ask me about that detail but it sticks in my mind. I remember being with a friend. Then going home. Except the firemen wouldn't let me get back to the house. I told them my son was there. The next thing I recall, after all dreams kinda jump from place to place and all that, is being back at a neighbors house and watching the fire flash and jump over several houses right into the backyard. Then the next thing is someone saying the fire department was monitoring and at that time the dog stopped making noise and all signs of life including Bryce stopped. They were sorry but Bryce was GONE! There is no describing the feeling. The world went blank just all white, and my heart felt an empty hole tear through it. Then I woke up. I just couldn't shake the feeling of being so afraid that I was going to lose Bryce. Phil had to drag Bryce into our bed before going to work. I'm still trying to shake that feeling of dread. If you've read this far thanks for listening/reading. I know crazy thing to write about but I just can't seem to shake this dream. I feel so exhausted like I never got any sleep. Yet I'm afraid to sleep because of the dream. I guess I'll try to get some layouts done now.
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